“Everyone tells me something different”

“Everyone tells me something different.”

If you’re a new parent, you’ve probably said—or at least felt—this during the first few weeks of feeding your baby. If you support breastfeeding families, you’ve likely heard this phrase from almost everyone you work with during those early days.

At best, hearing conflicting advice is confusing and overwhelming. At worst, it can disrupt—or even end—a breastfeeding journey.

So, what do you do?

In the early days, you’ll meet many people with varying levels of training and knowledge about breastfeeding. Some have completed extra education and understand the details and nuances of how to ensure your baby gets enough milk at the same time as protecting your milk supply.

Others, though well-meaning, may be overworked or under-resourced and unable to provide the consistent support they’d like to. Some may be more influenced by their own experiences than by up-to-date evidence-based guidance. Some may just not be aware of the latest research and current guidance. Their level of breastfeeding knowledge isn’t always obvious, making it hard for you to know who to trust.

“How do I make sense of all the different opinions?”

Here are some ways to help you navigate what you hear:

  • If someone tells you something that doesn’t match what you’ve heard before, ask: “That’s different from what I’ve been told—why are you saying something else?”
  • Ask: “Do you have anything I can read about that?” A knowledgeable supporter should be able to provide information or direct you to reliable sources that support their suggestions.
  • If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. Many parents say, “It just didn’t seem right.” Go with that – ask questions.
  • Keep breastfeeding specialists close as part of your team. Check the qualifications and experience of the person helping you. Try to include breastfeeding counsellors, IBCLCs or recognised breastfeeding support organisations in your support network.
  • If you’ve been given a plan, make sure it includes clear next steps. You shouldn’t be left feeling stuck. A good plan should always be reviewed and adjusted to help you move towards your goals.
  • Breastfeeding counsellors often say, “Breastfeeding problems have breastfeeding solutions.” Ask how the plan you’re being offered supports establishing and continued breastfeeding while you and your baby are still learning.
  • And share your experience and encourage others to prepare ahead of time. Tell your pregnant friends: get support in place before the baby arrives. Take an antenatal breastfeeding course, and explore local, national, and online sources of trusted, evidence-based support, ready for when their baby arrives.

Breastfeeding counsellors and IBCLCs hear “Everyone says something different” all the time. We know how intense and confusing this stage can be at times. We’re here to help you make a plan, set your goals, give you information and figure out what’s right for you, your baby, and your family.

We get the overwhelm when everyone says something different.

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